How do I handle small children in my home?

Your friends probably don't view their behavior as bad, because they are used to it, but it is terrible manners to let your child run wild. If they don't set boundaries then you should. There is nothing offensive about you telling a 4 year old he has to wear the wrist band so he doesn't drop the controller. If they are eating candy, there is nothing wrong with asking the mom, "Can we put him at the table while he finishes that?" In regards to the puppy, tell them "If you can't pet puppy gently, then you can't pet him at all". If the mom says you "don't get it", I would just say, it makes it easier to enjoy spending time together when they follow house rules. You are an adult. Its your house. I had a similar stressful situation with my In Laws and niece. They are no longer allowed to come over because they refused to respect our rules. We didn't tell them they weren't allowed, we just stopped inviting them. If they asked to come, we told them it wasn't a good time.